This time every year, we all think of the changes we want to make. Both professionally and personally. We set goals and make big plans for the pending new year. Waiting with baited breath to have our fresh start, our new beginning and all the other New Year’s cliches.
We start the year with the best of intentions, only to fall back into our same patterns yet again. Many of us don’t stick to that new fitness routine or diet plan. We start our work calendars full of goals and bench marks only to allow them to pass or be forgotten all together.
I fall victim to this frame of mind as well. Setting goals that seem to fizzle out by mid February, if not sooner. I started thinking, as many of us do, what we can do to change this merry-go-round. Why do we all wait for the new year to reflect on our bad habits or goals?
This year I’m going to make selling salon retail a priority.
This year I’m going to hit such and such a bench mark.
This year I’m going to take that dream vacation.
This year I'm going to get organized.
This year I’m going to book 20 bridal parties.
This year I’m going to do better at balancing mom-life with salon-life.
This year I’m going to loose xx pounds.
This year I’m going to work out, no excuses.
Do any of these sound familiar to you? They certainly do to me.
Is part of the reason that we start to fall out of these healthy habits and goal setting routines because of guilt? Mommy-guilt? Spousal-guilt? Success-guilt? I can’t believe that it’s as simple as lack of follow through.
Do you ever get the sneaky feeling that while you’re kicking ass and taking names in the salon that your family and friends are feeling neglected? Do you ever feel that if you’re unavailable to clients for a long weekend or family vacation they’ll feel slighted? This is the one that I personally struggle with most.
Growing up I had a very strong work ethic instilled in me due to my hard working father. Both my parents worked hard but he always had multiple jobs to ensure that my mom could have a more flexible schedule for my brother and I. He has always been, and will always be, the voice inside my head telling me to do more and go farther.
As a young stylist, before my husband and children, I worked my arss off. I worked long hours, came in on my days off (especially during the holidays) and stayed late regularly. There were multiple Decembers when I had worked myself so hard that I was sick for the holidays or missed family functions to fit in another last minute hilite and cut before Christmas. I was the salon version work horse that my dad had groomed me to be.
Once I was responsible for a household and children, I had to cut back a little for obvious reasons. The older my girls grew, I steadily started sneaking in extra work time when I knew my mom or husband would be available to watch them. Still feeling mommy-guilt, but also bringing in the extra income and satisfying yet another client’s schedule. Soon enough I was right back into the same work load I had been at almost a decade prior.
This needed to change.
In 2018 I’ve done a lot better at stepping back. My husband and I went on a vacation of a lifetime with our girls and my parents. I took a couple of Saturday’s off over the summer with no specific plans other than enjoying my family. However, I still had the overwhelming guilt when I had to tell a client I wasn’t available in the salon.
It’s a work in progress.
I’m still willing to do extras for my clients, but in a more balanced fashion. I’m willing to stay late to get a client in, I’m no longer willing to stay late if that means missing my children’s holiday party at school. I’m willing to come in on my day off to accommodate a long term client but not if it’s going to mean giving up my ONLY day off that week or missing out on a family gathering.
Saying no to clients is hard. Really hard. You feel like you’re letting them down. You feel guilty or like they’ll find someone else easier to get into if you can’t “squeeze them in just this once.”
About half way through writing this blog post I followed the white hare down the Instagram rabbit hole and found an article by an industry genius, Britt Seva. She was literally saying most everything I was thinking. She was specifically writing about vacay-guilt. Almost feeling like you’re cheating on your career in order to spend more time with your family.
I don’t think this makes my thoughts less relevant. It simply proves to me that many of us struggle with these same issues. Work life/ personal life balance is tough.
I think if clients really knew how horrible it sounded to imply in any way that missing out on holiday family time was an option, they would be mortified. Can you imagine telling them to come into the salon to get their hair done instead of attending their daughter’s ballet recital?? No way. They’d think you were rude to even suggest such. So, why should we feel guilty for the opposite?
Instead of a New Year’s Resolution, I’m choosing a New Year’s ReVolution.
I’m choosing work/home balance without guilt.
The week before Christmas 2018, I literally had to put both my aunt and cousin on my cancelation list. The only time out of the salon I had was full of kid’s functions and falala-ing. I can’t put my career before that. I have to find balance. And although they were disappointed, they understood. Working that chaotic 50 hour work week in the middle of also finding the time to shop, wrap, bake and falala is exhausting. We don’t need to add ‘vacay-guilt’ onto it.
My new year’s revolution is to be done with the guilt. Hold my head high, knowing that I’m making the right decisions for my business and my family.
Finding the balance is going to be a freeing thing.
So this year, mark your calendars off now for 2019’s holiday season and stick to the plan. Your family needs you to be present just as much as your craft and both are better off for it. You’ll be refreshed after a little holiday time with your tribe. I promise.
Happy New Year!!
Thank you for visiting and following!!
Remember to Like, Follow and Share!!